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Can You Convince Your Spouse of Your Love?


DEAR TOOLMAN: My husband and I have been talking about separating after a ten year, basically good marriage, which has had more than its share of external pressures. I feel a lot of the trouble i s because of the difference in our working lifestyles and earnings ability. I work full-time in a demanding job and earn a good salary, while he works sporadically and spends a lot of time and money on leisure pursuits. This, combined with my grief over my father's death, has led to tensions which is causing us to want to split.

I have always loved him very dearly and don't want him to leave and want our marriage to work. But he resists all my efforts to talk and I think he is involved with someone he plays sports with. Is it too late to convince him how much I love him and that I would do anything and everything in my power to make our marriage better than ever before?

TOOLMAN: Is it too late? First of all, let me repeat a general truth: All things are always possible.

Is it too late to convince him? No.

Will you convince him?

Would you agree that it probably would be a pressure on him if he perceived you as trying to convince him and change his mind? And that he probably would rebel and entrench deeper into where he is?

Sure. If 'convince' means change him, it is futile. YOU cannot change another person. It is an attempt to control that which is by nature free. It is not within your control nor your business to try to change another human being. It would be a waste of time and a source of pain.

Convince him of how MUCH you love him?
Do you really really love him? Yes.

Do you need to let him know that?
Sounds like it.

How do you do that?

In the way your inner guidance shows you.
Everyone, no exceptions, has an inner voice--an inner knowing and Spirit--that speaks very clearly to us if we would just take the time to listen better.


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