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Younger Wonders

"No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell . . . that's why perfume and deodorant are so popular." - Mae, age 9

Dear Readers,

The way I look at it, kids have a whole lot of insight and wisdom to share with us adults.
I don't just welcome them and what they have to say, I value their company and learn from their perspective. When I am with them, they often remind me of what's most important to me, like living more simply, not being too serious, etc.

Parents, aunts, uncles and siblings, do you have something you could submit to us that your child or one you know has written (will write) that we could share here (anonymously)? Email us, Thank you.

The Publisher

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Children of all ages, these days, see and say some pretty amazing things about relationships and marriage. We asked children and teens about how to have happiness in marriage based upon what they saw and learned in their own families. This is what they said.

  Ask a child, "How was the divorce from your point of view?" and they might answer:

"I know how it feels to be in the middle of a divorce. My mom wanted the divorce first in August. You can imagine how I felt when I was used to seeing my dad come home from work and my mom giving him a nice warm hug."

"Divorce is horrible. No one likes divorce. Even people who wanted the divorce. And it's not fair. People shouldn't have to go through things like divorce. It gives people something to think about. Deep down inside everyone's heart everyone hates divorce. I hope when people are living their new lives (they) realize what they've done. It doesn't only give someone something to think about, it gives them something to remember."

"Kids that have never really heard the word divorce makes it a little bit harder on them. When the parent tells the child there getting a divorce, it's a real shock. They know what the word means, except they thought their parents were in love. When people get marriage they have to make a promise to stay together forever. Marriage is a promise you can't break."

"When parents get divorced it can affect their child. The child could start getting bad grades, all of a sudden get tired, lose track of things, forget things, feel lonely, and not come out of their room very much."

  Ask a teen, "Share something from your family experience that you didn't like. How would you do it differently?" and they might answer:

I didn't like . . . I would . . .
Betrayal of a spouse's trust. Be completely honest and trustworthy.
Not physically affectionate in public (not enough for me) Be more affectionate in public
When it comes to $ and how it's spent and who takes care of it. Would share it with my husband.
My dad takes orders from my mom, avoids arguments by just agreeing not discussing. Would give my opinion and communicate.
Yelling. I won't marry someone that has a temper.
My dad is never romantic- always forgets anniversary. My marriage would be affectionate and going out (from) time to time.
I don't like arguments. I would try to understand.
No forgiveness. Throw out past marriages.
(My) parents don't agree. Rules should be set.
How separate my parents are. I would create more of a partnership.
Getting married too young and before you knew you were ready. I won't marry until I know I will be happy.
Arguing. Try to talk out problems.
My parents fight and let the fight last for days. I would immediately work it out.
Jealousy-lack of communication. I would put the past behind and not bring it up and talk to my partner.
Selfishness Think of others and not just myself.
Get married too young-before you knew you were ready. I won't marry until I know I will be happy.
Disagreements about things that are an issue of belief. I will marry a Christian so we will have the same beliefs.
Constant arguments. Talk it out civilized.
They lost their friends and spend time only with each other and they never go out. I'd keep my friends.
Not spend time together. Spend more time together.
Hating eachother and not getting over fights. I would forgive and work things out.
My parents never were willing to talk and forgive each other. I wouldn't have cheated in the first place.
Nothing. My parents have the perfect marriage.

  Ask a teen, "Should we have kids?" and they might say "Sure, if . . ."

"You are totally sure you won't get divorced."

"You are ready for the responsibility."

"You will raise them together."

"You both want them."

"You know that she/he is the right one."

"You are ready."

"You both have a steady relationship, income and you feel the marriage will last."

"You both want them and are financially stable for them."

"You still love each other."

"You both want to an addition to the family."

"You are secure in your marriage."

"You are responsible enough to stay married."

"You have a strong bond and want it to grow."

"You want to have kids with the person."

  Ask a teen, "What do you think is the most important reason that continues to produce high divorce statistics?" and they might answer:

"Marrying out of lust rather than love."


"We are becoming a throwaway society."

"Not getting to really know the person."



"Busy lifestyle-not enough time to give to your spouse."

"Love is based on external characteristics (looks)."

"Not happy with themselves."

"Marry too early."

"Not waiting till they are old enough."


"Both People work long hours so they never see each other."


"People aren't faithful."


"Both have busy jobs."

"Someone cheats."

"People don't value marriage as much."

"Parents that have been divorced."

"Lack of communication."


"Kids follow parents."

  Ask a teen, "What would greatly increase happiness in marriage for people?" and they might say:

"Show more affection, hugs, kisses, backrubs, holding hands."

"Talk more openly."

"Communicate, talk about what's going on."

"Spend more time together alone; maybe setting aside certain days to concentrate on each other and leave other things alone."

"Spend time apart and with friends."

"Told each other how they felt."

"Sit down and listen to each other."

"Spent more time together."

"Spontaneous things - not to fight about little things."

"Set time for work-set time for togetherness."

"Stay truthful with each other."

"Take an hour out of each day to spend with each other."

"Open up more with each other."

"Become best friends before sexual things progress."

"Think more about the other person."

Children are brilliant lights. They are wise people, though not yet fully sized in body and mind. I believe that as adults, we have a lot to learn from them. So far, in the US and many countries, children have not yet been recognized for who they are. I wouldn't be surprised if in the near future, we will think of ways to more effectively involve older and younger wonders in our society.


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